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This is MY choice; i am not forced to do anything. There seems to be, and is very frustrating, this misguided theory that BDSM is all about rules. In fact, there is no true BDSM bible because even so-called professionals disagree and dispute generalities. There are NO rules. What each couple or group decides for themselves is their own rules. For some people BDSM is simply an added spice to sex in the bedroon. For others it is a way of life. For some it is more physical and for others it is more mental. The idea of giving one's soul to another is LOVE. It burdens me that so many people believe this is about controlling a slave and physical abuse. The extreme torturers who make the public eye because its something to talk about make us all look bad. Most in my community do not enjoy real pain. Pain also is a part of everyone's lives and needs to be acknowledged and processed. I happen to meditate and evolve within myself when made to feel some level of pain, though not acute physical. Am I wrong because I WANT to serve my master? Am I wrong because I love him and have chosen this for myself? I can say one thing: NO. I am happier and healthier than I have ever been. A marriage license is a contract. A wedding ring is a collar. In most ceremonies the phrase "I agree to love, honor and obey" pops up. On a parting note, dominant individuals and submissive individuals are on parrallel planes and have utmost respect for each other. Our worlds revolve around each other in a way that most do not understand because they have not experienced that DEEP level of connection. The only rule is: there are NO rules.