there could be an adversarial tone in my relation to a woman I cared for. Genital gratification is not colonization or evacuation. I have mentioned Wilhelm Reich and I think he found many of the right words. His best, perhaps: “making her happy”. A man can lead a woman to exquisite experiences that don’t seem to be in his nature to have (be assured, we get some pretty cool stuff too) and his treat is having his woman live them for both.

I was glad that you gave clarity to what I had termed symbolism or ritual in commenting on the rendering of your psycho-sexuality (I confess I was seeing a sort of metaphysical wrestlemania passion play, and I prickle at the notion of “playing a role”. Use of one’s strength and force in intimate “combat” for another time; let me simmer your clarifications) is overlay, not underlay to more primitive biological urges and responses. I had taken some of what you described as a kind of Bovary-ism of male domination, hung up in the gestures, gear, apparatus, and furnishings of masculine conquest. We seem to live the organism differently, but it is well to live the organism. I think that “soul” is largely the wisdom of the physiology (very much an Aristotelian notion). Your response to Incredible Hulk muscle mass corresponds to my response to leggy women with compact bottoms (which yields a kind of quiet insanity, boyhood tomboy playmates who could ankle-lock the girth of a pony and suck their toes, their own, not the pony’s), though I do not live this as a fixation in the way that you seem to.

“Fullness” too for another time. I did not mean this strictly in a physiological sense but many of us find some treats there.

Boot-kissing another time. I’ll have to tidy up my hiking Timberlands and bar oil encrusted loggers.

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Last-modified: 2022-02-24 (木) 00:05:09 (86d)